Pee Faster

I was on the phone last night with my brother. During that time of complete chaos where I am finishing making dinner, setting the table and getting food in front of my starving children I attempted to carry on an adult conversation. That really was a bad choice on my part. Why would I ever think I should be able to talk on the phone while my four children are still living at home.

But I digress, let me get back to my story, I really do have one. I finally had all the kids at the table happily (if not quietly) eating and watching TV at the same time (bad mommy I know, but I was trying to talk on the phone). When it happened. K. had to go potty. Nothing new there. The kids always have to go to the bathroom once dinner is served. I don't know why it's that way but it is. So K. gets up from the table and stops just long enough to grab the remote control and then she paused the show (gotta love DVR) so she could go potty and not miss anything. Well bedlam ensued and I soon had an uprising on my hands of all the other kids screaming that she paused it and they were watching that and it's not fair that she always pauses the TV when she has to go to the bathroom. So I did what any good mom trying to have a phone conversation would do, I walked into the bathroom and told her to pee faster and ran off with the remote control. I then had three happy kids and one unhappy girl crying in the bathroom that she can't pee faster. But she was almost done so by the time I got there to help her I really wasn't needed anymore.

Yep, my brother sure was lucky he got to talk to me on the phone last night. I've enlightened him beyond what he probably felt was necessary and I have reached a new level of mothering where I now order my children to pee faster.