I'm always surprised at what my kids come up with. This one still has me laughing days later so I thought I'd share.
Main Characters: Mom, Hoss and Pappy who was visiting us.
Scene: The staircase, lots of noise and activity especially around the staircase with younger sisters running up and down.
Script:
Mom- You kids quit running up and down the stairs and screaming your going to hurt yourselves or someone else. (This is said as Pappy is trying to make his way up the stairs)
Girls- ignoring mom, continue to run up the stairs making as much noise as possible.
Hoss- (squeezing himself as flat as he can against the wall of the stairs as Pappy tries to go up the stairs) Looks at his Pappy and says "Go Ahead, Old Man"
Mom and Pappy start laughing and scene fades.
Disclaimer- I know where he gets it from and it's me. It's what I tell the old people who are driving to slow in front of me or who are just annoying me. I haven't figured out yet if Hoss was annoyed with Pappy yet for being so slow on the stairs or not.
Showing posts with label What my kids have to say. Show all posts
Showing posts with label What my kids have to say. Show all posts
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
I may say that just a bit to much
I hear myself in my children. What I tell them, usually comes back to me sooner or later. Sometimes it's not so bad, other times I'm embarrassed and then other times I just have to laugh.
I've been listening to A. quite a bit lately. And I must say, she is definitely repeating things that she hears me say. But in my defense it's not the embarrassing phrase of darn it (only it really wasn't darn). Instead it seems that everything she is seeing or noticing for the first time requires a very loud and enthusiastic Holy Cow! (Mental congratulations to myself that it was not anything worse than that) So since this doesn't fall into what I consider the offensive category, I'm enjoying her Holy Cows. Everything from a new roll of toilet paper being put on the roll, to a dead bug in a window sill gets a big HOLY COW.
So I've decided that I may just actually verbalize my thoughts a bit more than I should. I must try to keep things where I really am thinking Holy Cow inside my head, instead of verbalizing them. But Holy Cow, it's harder than I thought it would be. So maybe I will just give it up and be glad that at least it's not quite as offensive as Bugger, which I've been know to say a time or two. But if we aren't actually in England is it still offensive? Just something to wonder about.
I've been listening to A. quite a bit lately. And I must say, she is definitely repeating things that she hears me say. But in my defense it's not the embarrassing phrase of darn it (only it really wasn't darn). Instead it seems that everything she is seeing or noticing for the first time requires a very loud and enthusiastic Holy Cow! (Mental congratulations to myself that it was not anything worse than that) So since this doesn't fall into what I consider the offensive category, I'm enjoying her Holy Cows. Everything from a new roll of toilet paper being put on the roll, to a dead bug in a window sill gets a big HOLY COW.
So I've decided that I may just actually verbalize my thoughts a bit more than I should. I must try to keep things where I really am thinking Holy Cow inside my head, instead of verbalizing them. But Holy Cow, it's harder than I thought it would be. So maybe I will just give it up and be glad that at least it's not quite as offensive as Bugger, which I've been know to say a time or two. But if we aren't actually in England is it still offensive? Just something to wonder about.
Friday, February 6, 2009
A Talk with the teacher
I had a talk with K.'s teacher this morning. It was very enlightening to say the least. Ms. Tammy asked me if my husband was doing okay. So I told her yes, he was doing good and would be back from Finland very soon. At this, she looked very relieved and started to laugh. She then told me about a conversation she had with my daughter.
K.,my daughter told Ms. Tammy that her dad was in heaven. Ms. Tammy asked her if she was sure and K. said yes she was very sure. Her mommy had dropped her daddy of at the drive thru and then he went to heaven. He'd be back in a few days.
Of course by now I am laughing and wondering why she came up with this. I can only guess that to her the airport is the drive thru and the planes then fly up to heaven. I still don't know for sure and will talk to her this afternoon about it. But I'm still laughing at this. Especially since I didn't drive Hubs to the airport, he drove himself and left his truck in long term parking.
I'm just glad that he was able to get a return ticket from heaven and I'm sure when I tell him, he'll be just as relieved.
K.,my daughter told Ms. Tammy that her dad was in heaven. Ms. Tammy asked her if she was sure and K. said yes she was very sure. Her mommy had dropped her daddy of at the drive thru and then he went to heaven. He'd be back in a few days.
Of course by now I am laughing and wondering why she came up with this. I can only guess that to her the airport is the drive thru and the planes then fly up to heaven. I still don't know for sure and will talk to her this afternoon about it. But I'm still laughing at this. Especially since I didn't drive Hubs to the airport, he drove himself and left his truck in long term parking.
I'm just glad that he was able to get a return ticket from heaven and I'm sure when I tell him, he'll be just as relieved.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Learning the Cheese
Some days I just have to laugh at how I hear myself in my children's voices. And how my children's voices can twist what I say into something completely different.
I was dusting off an old (and I do mean old) exercise video the other day. Let's just say it was fifteen years old. I didn't really think it would be as dated as it really was. I was wrong. I suffered through the first few minutes of it. And by suffered through it I don't mean the exercise portion. No I mean the belted workout clothes, the obvious use of a green screen with the instructor leaving no obvious shadow on the beach she was working out on, the music was awful and the exercise it self was just to much. There was lots of booty shaking and I kid you not...dancing with finger pointing. It was at this finger pointing, booty shaking moment that I decided I could take no more.
Now during all this "exercise" my girls were watching the strange lady on the screen. So when I stopped my oldest asked me why I was stopping. I replied that I couldn't do this one anymore because it was just to cheesy and a bad video. And went on to find one that was a DVD that wasn't so cheesy and didn't think anything more of it.
But it apparently made quite an impression my oldest because the second Hubs walked into the house she ran to tell him all about it. She informed him about the bad lady on the TV who was trying to teach her mommy the cheese and how mommy had to turn it off and do a good one instead.
If nothing else, I laughed so hard that the cheesy video did ultimately give me a workout.
I was dusting off an old (and I do mean old) exercise video the other day. Let's just say it was fifteen years old. I didn't really think it would be as dated as it really was. I was wrong. I suffered through the first few minutes of it. And by suffered through it I don't mean the exercise portion. No I mean the belted workout clothes, the obvious use of a green screen with the instructor leaving no obvious shadow on the beach she was working out on, the music was awful and the exercise it self was just to much. There was lots of booty shaking and I kid you not...dancing with finger pointing. It was at this finger pointing, booty shaking moment that I decided I could take no more.
Now during all this "exercise" my girls were watching the strange lady on the screen. So when I stopped my oldest asked me why I was stopping. I replied that I couldn't do this one anymore because it was just to cheesy and a bad video. And went on to find one that was a DVD that wasn't so cheesy and didn't think anything more of it.
But it apparently made quite an impression my oldest because the second Hubs walked into the house she ran to tell him all about it. She informed him about the bad lady on the TV who was trying to teach her mommy the cheese and how mommy had to turn it off and do a good one instead.
If nothing else, I laughed so hard that the cheesy video did ultimately give me a workout.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Important Decisions
Hoss has been trying to make a few important decisions lately. We were talking in the car about what he wanted to do when he grows up. He has decided as of today that his chosen field lays in Nascar. He originally told me that he wants to be a race car driver like Jeff Gordan or Dale Jr. But after careful consideration he now claims to want to be in the pit crew. I couldn't figure out why he would change from a driver to the pit crew so asked him why he made his decision. His response showed he has put a lot of thought into this one.
"Mom, I decided to be in the pit crew because then I could go to the bathroom any time I wanted to. If your a driver than you have to hold it until after the race is over."
How could I possibly argue with logic like that?
"Mom, I decided to be in the pit crew because then I could go to the bathroom any time I wanted to. If your a driver than you have to hold it until after the race is over."
How could I possibly argue with logic like that?
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Isn't it Fun
Now that my kids are getting a bit bigger it's fun introducing them to some of my favorite movies and things to do. Most of them are the edited versions that are on TV but sometimes they get to watch the real DVD. Today I have both my boys begging to watch a favorite of mine from years ago. It's Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, there is just enough fighting to keep them interested in it all. Of course I end up getting twenty questions but they soon quiet down and then I get to enjoy the movie also. The same thing happened earlier in the week when Forrest Gump was on TV. Before long both boys were into it and enjoying it. Then Hoss discovered we had it on DVD and asked if he could watch Forrest the Skunk again. But since it was late we didn't watch that one. Instead we sat down and had another of my favorites, ice cream cones. After that it was much easier to get them to bed. And the plus side of that was that I got to have one also. Yes, it can be fun sometimes.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
What Duck?
The other night at bedtime was a hard thing for K. to handle. She just couldn't get to sleep. She has discovered that a certain spot on her floor creaks a bit when she walks on it (but only when she walks on it). She kept coming out to tell her daddy that she couldn't sleep because her floor kept going Quack Quack. No matter how he tried, she didn't believe it was just her floor and it wouldn't quack if she stayed in bed. She kept looking for that duck until she was just to tired to look anymore.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Such Confidence
I just have to laugh at the confidence my children display sometimes. This time I am talking about my oldest son Z. Maybe it's because he is the oldest that he is so confident or maybe it's just his personality. But confidence he has in abundance and I hope he never loses it.
This week at his school they are taking the TAKS test. That is the state wide test that rates the schools and such. Z. has three tests this week. Yesterday was his first day of testing. He had to take the math test. Now he is usually pretty good in math so I don't doubt that he did well on the test.
When he came home from school yesterday I asked him how his test went. His response was fast and he informed me that "He aced the test and got a 100". I chuckled and asked him how he could be sure that he didn't miss even one question. He responded that when he double checked all his answers he always came up with the same answers so obviously none of them were wrong. Oh such confidence.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that there was still a chance that he didn't score a perfect 100. There will be plenty of time to burst his bubble with reality later. In the meantime, I hope his confidence and correct answers will carry him through the rest of the tests this week.
This week at his school they are taking the TAKS test. That is the state wide test that rates the schools and such. Z. has three tests this week. Yesterday was his first day of testing. He had to take the math test. Now he is usually pretty good in math so I don't doubt that he did well on the test.
When he came home from school yesterday I asked him how his test went. His response was fast and he informed me that "He aced the test and got a 100". I chuckled and asked him how he could be sure that he didn't miss even one question. He responded that when he double checked all his answers he always came up with the same answers so obviously none of them were wrong. Oh such confidence.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that there was still a chance that he didn't score a perfect 100. There will be plenty of time to burst his bubble with reality later. In the meantime, I hope his confidence and correct answers will carry him through the rest of the tests this week.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Only if your Hot
A Conversation with Hoss:
Hoss: Mom, when I get big can I go jogging and running and doing exercise in the neighborhood outside without my shirt on?
Me: You want to run outside without a shirt on when you get big?
Hoss: yeah, Can I?
Me: Only if your Hot and handsome.
Hoss: Yeah, I will be.
Can you feel my redneck pride in my son rising up in my chest.
Hoss: Mom, when I get big can I go jogging and running and doing exercise in the neighborhood outside without my shirt on?
Me: You want to run outside without a shirt on when you get big?
Hoss: yeah, Can I?
Me: Only if your Hot and handsome.
Hoss: Yeah, I will be.
Can you feel my redneck pride in my son rising up in my chest.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
What are they teaching him?
***UPDATED*** With his teacher's response.
Z. gets home from school today and since he hasn't been feeling well I ask him how he's doing. He says fine but that he has a lot of homework. So off he goes to start working on it. A little while later he comes out and ask me and Hubs if we know how to do Mexican Division? Both of us just look at each other and try not to laugh and say what, since we were expecting a joke? And he says do you know how to do the Mexican division? So this is how the conversation played out.
Me: What do you mean by the Mexican division?
Z: You know where you do division and it looks like your playing hangman.
Me: Well I know how do a kind of division with a box that looks kind of like hangman. But I call it long division. Let me show you. And I do.
Z: No mom, that's different than Mexican Division but it's kind of the same. And he takes the paper from me.
So he shows me a "new" way of doing what I know as long division with some tweaks here and there. It's definetely not the same way I did long division but it comes up with the same answer. I just can't get past the name it was given, "Mexican Division". Z. isn't any help since he just said he thought that must be how they do it in Mexico.
I know this may upset some of you but I truly do find this whole thing funny. And I can hardly wait to get the answer from his teacher as to why it's called "Mexican Division". And just to be sure I wasn't old or anything I googled Mexican Division and nothing came up. So now I really am anxiously awaiting the answer from his math teacher as to why in the world it is called Mexican Division? And I did tell Z. that I'm sure that it's not called Mexican Division because that's the way they do it in Mexico.
Alright for those of you who are actually still curious as to his teachers response I'd thought I'd share it with you.
Z. is correct; we are learning "partial quotients" which is how they divide in Mexico. It helps make division easier for the students who can get stuck very easily on the traditional method of long division. It is where the students break apart the dividend by using multiples of 10, and subtract those pieces from the whole.
Mmmm...okaaay! Since I technically never learned math IN Mexico (just the border town across the Rio Grande) I truly can't 100% contradict her on this one. But I really do kind of want to. ;)
Z. gets home from school today and since he hasn't been feeling well I ask him how he's doing. He says fine but that he has a lot of homework. So off he goes to start working on it. A little while later he comes out and ask me and Hubs if we know how to do Mexican Division? Both of us just look at each other and try not to laugh and say what, since we were expecting a joke? And he says do you know how to do the Mexican division? So this is how the conversation played out.
Me: What do you mean by the Mexican division?
Z: You know where you do division and it looks like your playing hangman.
Me: Well I know how do a kind of division with a box that looks kind of like hangman. But I call it long division. Let me show you. And I do.
Z: No mom, that's different than Mexican Division but it's kind of the same. And he takes the paper from me.
So he shows me a "new" way of doing what I know as long division with some tweaks here and there. It's definetely not the same way I did long division but it comes up with the same answer. I just can't get past the name it was given, "Mexican Division". Z. isn't any help since he just said he thought that must be how they do it in Mexico.
I know this may upset some of you but I truly do find this whole thing funny. And I can hardly wait to get the answer from his teacher as to why it's called "Mexican Division". And just to be sure I wasn't old or anything I googled Mexican Division and nothing came up. So now I really am anxiously awaiting the answer from his math teacher as to why in the world it is called Mexican Division? And I did tell Z. that I'm sure that it's not called Mexican Division because that's the way they do it in Mexico.
Alright for those of you who are actually still curious as to his teachers response I'd thought I'd share it with you.
Z. is correct; we are learning "partial quotients" which is how they divide in Mexico. It helps make division easier for the students who can get stuck very easily on the traditional method of long division. It is where the students break apart the dividend by using multiples of 10, and subtract those pieces from the whole.
Mmmm...okaaay! Since I technically never learned math IN Mexico (just the border town across the Rio Grande) I truly can't 100% contradict her on this one. But I really do kind of want to. ;)
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
What are they trying to tell me
I'm driving in the car this morning and K. looks at me and says so sweetly "I like your Zebra shirt". So I look at my red and white striped shirt and just say thank you sweetie.
Then this afternoon, Hoss is in the kitchen and says "Whoa, Mom, you look just like a zebra".
What is it exactly my kids are trying to tell me. I'm feeling very self conscious in a zebray kind of way. And I'm just not sure I will wear this again.
Then this afternoon, Hoss is in the kitchen and says "Whoa, Mom, you look just like a zebra".
What is it exactly my kids are trying to tell me. I'm feeling very self conscious in a zebray kind of way. And I'm just not sure I will wear this again.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Best Turkey Ever
Tomorrow is the big turkey lunch that my son's school has to celebrate Thanksgiving. When Z. realized this he got so excited and declared that it was the best turkey ever.
Now me being me, I had to question him. How can he possibly think this since he eats my turkey every year also. Doesn't he know the turkey they serve him in the school cafeteria is probably some kind of compressed processed meat. Quite unlike anything we have on our Thanksgiving table. But Z. being firm in his declaration of his school turkey, says mom it is the best turkey ever. It's juicier. What! My nine year old has suddenly developed a sophisticated palette and says my turkey is not as juicy as the cafeteria variety.
What else can I do but throw up my hands. So I remind him how one day when he fondly remembers his mama's turkey he will suddenly realize how much he is mistaken. But for the time being I think I do know who has the best turkey ever. It's me, and he is asleep in bed now dreaming of his turkey lunch tomorrow. And just for the record my turkey is juicier.
Now me being me, I had to question him. How can he possibly think this since he eats my turkey every year also. Doesn't he know the turkey they serve him in the school cafeteria is probably some kind of compressed processed meat. Quite unlike anything we have on our Thanksgiving table. But Z. being firm in his declaration of his school turkey, says mom it is the best turkey ever. It's juicier. What! My nine year old has suddenly developed a sophisticated palette and says my turkey is not as juicy as the cafeteria variety.
What else can I do but throw up my hands. So I remind him how one day when he fondly remembers his mama's turkey he will suddenly realize how much he is mistaken. But for the time being I think I do know who has the best turkey ever. It's me, and he is asleep in bed now dreaming of his turkey lunch tomorrow. And just for the record my turkey is juicier.
I'm Five and I play Basketball
That is the new greeting you get from Hoss nowadays. He will tell anyone who appears to have a pulse and has even eyed the fence post lately.
He told the man at the grocery store, he told the lady at the register. He ran up to the fireman and paused just long enough to say "Hi Fireman" before he launches into his I'm Five and I play Basketball. He tells anybody who will listen.
This is because he has his very first basketball practice tomorrow night. It's his first time playing team sports. He has always been a spectator at all of his big brother Z.'s games. Now he realizes that it's going to be all about him. And in a family with four kids, lets face it...that's big time. We get to take him to practice and we all get to go watch him play his games. He is so excited that he can hardly stand it. He has been practising for over a week now at home and feels ready to go make lots of baskets at practice tomorrow night. That's pretty big stuff if your five.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Eat More Beans!
I had this talk with K. this morning driving in the car.
K: Mom, your not strong enough to carry me upside down anymore like daddy.
Me: K. your getting so big that I can't carry you for that long upside down. Your right, daddy is much stronger.
K: Yep, daddy is stronger. He eats all his beans. You need to eat all your beans to if you want to be big and strong like daddy and carry me upside down.
K: Mom, your not strong enough to carry me upside down anymore like daddy.
Me: K. your getting so big that I can't carry you for that long upside down. Your right, daddy is much stronger.
K: Yep, daddy is stronger. He eats all his beans. You need to eat all your beans to if you want to be big and strong like daddy and carry me upside down.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Marshmellows?
Sometimes even I am confused by what it is my kids are telling me. Let's see if you can figure this one out.
Hoss: Mom, come quick and see all the marshmellows we have growing in our backyard.
Me: Marshmellows?
Hoss: Yes, marshmellows. Come quick and see them. I squished them all over.
So what do I find when I get out to the backyard? Instead of a bunch of squished marshmellows I find a bunch of squished mushrooms. Marshmellows, mushrooms it's all the same thing isn't it.
Hoss: Mom, come quick and see all the marshmellows we have growing in our backyard.
Me: Marshmellows?
Hoss: Yes, marshmellows. Come quick and see them. I squished them all over.
So what do I find when I get out to the backyard? Instead of a bunch of squished marshmellows I find a bunch of squished mushrooms. Marshmellows, mushrooms it's all the same thing isn't it.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Just Testing It Out
Okay, some stories are just to good to keep to myself. So let me make your day a little bit better.
The other day my husband had to run to Lowe's to buy a new seal for our bathroom sink. He decided to take Hoss and K. with him to give me a little quiet time. After he found the seal he needed he was getting ready to leave and turned to get K. who had just been right next to him the entire time. Naturally she wasn't there so he looked down the aisle a little further and saw her. She was sitting as proud as can be on one of the toilet displays. Not only that, her shorts were down around her ankles. So he runs down to get her and gets her pants back up and thankfully notices that no one was around. And in case your wondering no she hadn't "gone potty" yet. Thinking that she must desperately need to go to the bathroom he asks her if she needs to go and what on earth was she doing on the toilet display? K. simply looks like him like he is dumber than dirt and says "Daddy, I was just testing it out". How can you argue with logic like that. And since dad is dad and not a mom, he left that store as fast as he possibly could before getting the rest of the things he needed.
The other day my husband had to run to Lowe's to buy a new seal for our bathroom sink. He decided to take Hoss and K. with him to give me a little quiet time. After he found the seal he needed he was getting ready to leave and turned to get K. who had just been right next to him the entire time. Naturally she wasn't there so he looked down the aisle a little further and saw her. She was sitting as proud as can be on one of the toilet displays. Not only that, her shorts were down around her ankles. So he runs down to get her and gets her pants back up and thankfully notices that no one was around. And in case your wondering no she hadn't "gone potty" yet. Thinking that she must desperately need to go to the bathroom he asks her if she needs to go and what on earth was she doing on the toilet display? K. simply looks like him like he is dumber than dirt and says "Daddy, I was just testing it out". How can you argue with logic like that. And since dad is dad and not a mom, he left that store as fast as he possibly could before getting the rest of the things he needed.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Conflicting emotions
My son Z. had this to say in the car this afternoon. It pretty much sums up my feelings as well as his.
Z- Hurry up school and begin. Slow down summer so I can still enjoy you.
When I asked him why he felt this way he just replied that he missed school and was ready to get back to it. Also, he was a bit bored and wanted to see his friends. But he isn't quite ready to give up all that summer means for him (i.e. swimming, hanging out with his neighborhood friends, staying up way to late, lots of extra video game time).
I am with him, I am ready for school to begin so I can get back into a routine of sorts but I'm really going to miss having him around all the time. He really is a neat kid and I have really enjoyed all the extra time I have with him during the summer. So it looks like we both have conflicting emotions, like so many other families this time of year.
Z- Hurry up school and begin. Slow down summer so I can still enjoy you.
When I asked him why he felt this way he just replied that he missed school and was ready to get back to it. Also, he was a bit bored and wanted to see his friends. But he isn't quite ready to give up all that summer means for him (i.e. swimming, hanging out with his neighborhood friends, staying up way to late, lots of extra video game time).
I am with him, I am ready for school to begin so I can get back into a routine of sorts but I'm really going to miss having him around all the time. He really is a neat kid and I have really enjoyed all the extra time I have with him during the summer. So it looks like we both have conflicting emotions, like so many other families this time of year.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Grandma town
We have obviously been out of town a lot lately. And this is just one of the funny things Hoss asked me about while we were at my parents driving in the car.
Hoss: Mom are we in grandma town?
Me: What are you talking about?
Hoss: Well mom look in all the cars the only people driving are grandma's.
Me: Looking all around at all the cars around us at the light and laughing since every car is being driven by a senior citizen. No Hoss, they have kids in Lubbock to we just can't see them driving.
Hoss: Mom are we in grandma town?
Me: What are you talking about?
Hoss: Well mom look in all the cars the only people driving are grandma's.
Me: Looking all around at all the cars around us at the light and laughing since every car is being driven by a senior citizen. No Hoss, they have kids in Lubbock to we just can't see them driving.
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